![]() This is the part where every fucking anime in the world makes awkward eye contact with each other.īut while the individual dialogue lines and character arcs have been polished up, the broad strokes of the plot remain the same: Isaac Clarke, space engineer whose fashion sense lies somewhere between the Michelin Man and an Edwardian-era central heating system, comes to deep-space mining vessel USG Ishimura to investigate a communications blackout that, it turns out, was caused by the crew finding something on an alien planet that was causing death and madness and deciding that trapping themselves in space with it would be a really wizzo idea. I mean, they're top-class professionals in their field, which would require decades of experience they shouldn't look like fucking twenty-somethings on spring break. ![]() Silent protagonists have always been a slightly immature approach to game narrative, and the remake has made the game more mature across the board Isaac and his love interest now both look distinctly middle-aged, which makes sense. And double check it: Isaac Clarke isn't a silent protagonist anymore, so instead of being a mute idiot who keeps getting volunteered to touch all the computers in the monster soft play area, now he's a tryhard idiot who volunteers to go touch all the computers in the monster soft play area. ![]() But check it: the main female NPC now has a more nuanced personality than "insufferable paranoid bitch constantly demanding to speak to the manager". In brief, shit makes slightly more sense I mean, it's still rubbing up against the fact that it's the Dead Space universe, where every single human authority is either inexplicably corrupt or mad, to a degree beating out even the Alien and Resident Evil canons. So while the Dead Space remake is, for a large part, a copy-paste of the game's basic skeleton with shinier wallpaper slapped on, there have been many significant design tweaks to get more in line with modern sensibilities, including a complete rework of the story and dialogue. I don't know who the fuck pissed in her cryo-sleep chamber humidifier. That led me to a YouTube longplay of the original game to refresh my memory, and oh Christ, I agree, past self leaving aside the fact that graphics from that era now look like slightly greasy sausage meat in a packing facility where the workers all smoke too much, why is every voice actor delivering their lines like the bus home from the recording studio leaves in five minutes, and why is every character such an abrasive prick? That main female support NPC, in particular it's like her whole job is to immediately and screechily disagree with whoever spoke last. I spent five minutes kicking it just for being Resident Evil 4 in space, and for having the characters and dialogue of a low-budget original Syfy Channel horror movie crafted from living turd. Phew, you people were right I did used to be a lot harsher on things. "What's next, Yahtz? A greatest hits album? A clip show?" Well, I feel justified in tackling the remake on multiple fronts: firstly, the original Dead Space and my review of it was so many whiskey sours ago, I can barely remember either, secondly, the remake brings enough changes that I found I had sufficient new things to say, and thirdly, the longer I put off having to do Hogwarts Legacy, the more time I have to shop around for glaziers I can hire after, like, nine diametrically opposed internet communities come over and smash all my windows.Īnd fourthly, besides, Dead Space 1 is perfect remake fodder we're always saying, "Don't remake stuff that was good in the first place remake something that had a spark, but didn't quite reach its full potential", and that certainly was the impression I got rewatching my old review. "First, you re-review No Man's Sky, and now this?", I hear you cry. Here's some remasters of shit you used to like while we wait for the day we can rip off some innovative indie game that inexplicably does gangbusters.'" And then, of course, there's the recent Dead Space remake. I remain convinced we're in a transitionary period of gaming, for as it said in the Book of Revelations, "And I beheld a great beast, and with its left hand did it smite the non-profitable live services, and with its right hand did it stealth drop a remaster of Metroid Prime for some reason, and the Lord spake, 'Yea, do we officially not know what you people want anymore. ![]() This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Dead Space, the 2023 remake.
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